Welcome to the whirlwind that is motherhood, where your dining table serves as both a workspace and the site of last night’s cereal massacre, where the floor is a treasure trove of socks, homework, and unknown crumbs, and your latest art project is now an intimate part of the kitchen counter. If you’ve ever thought, Maybe we should just move and start over, you’re not alone. The mess is real, and it’s here to stay—at least for the next 18 years, give or take a few.

But here’s the thing: trying to keep everything pristine is like trying to nail jelly to a wall. So instead of stressing over the unrelenting chaos, let’s find a way to embrace it and still maintain a shred of sanity. Ready? Here’s your guide to surviving the mess—and maybe even enjoying it a little.

Step One: Redefine “Clean”

Let’s be real: “clean” doesn’t have to mean “perfect.” If “clean” simply means “functional,” then congratulations, you’re winning at life. Floors are only impassable when you trip over them, so as long as you can still find a clean-ish spot to sit (ideally near snacks or coffee), you’re doing just fine. Redefine clean as good enough to keep the toddler from being swallowed by the toy avalanche—and you’ve got yourself a solid standard.

Pro Tip: Set a timer for 15 minutes each morning and do a quick sweep of the kitchen, living room, and bathroom. This tiny effort will keep things from spiraling into full chaos without feeling like you’re cleaning the entire house every day. Trust me, it’s the little victories.

Step Two: Embrace the Chaos as a Learning Opportunity

That laundry pile? It’s a hands-on lesson in color sorting. The cereal on the floor? Nature’s way of showing your kids how ants form a very organized society (and giving you a chance to practice your patience). The stack of dirty dishes? That’s practically a biology experiment in the making. And the unopened mail? It’s a fun game of “Important or Junk”—which, let’s face it, is a skill every child should learn early.

Pro Tip: Don’t stress about the mess that’s piling up—reframe it as a “learning experience.” Maybe the laundry pile is a great opportunity for your kid to practice folding. Maybe the dirty dishes are actually fostering teamwork when they pitch in to help. When you look at it this way, you’ll realize you’re doing life skills training, not housekeeping.

Step Three: Lower Your Expectations Even Further

Once you’ve accepted that your house will never look like a magazine spread, it’s time to lower your expectations even more. Aim for progress, not perfection. Your new daily goal: survive the day without someone (or you) breaking into tears by 3 p.m. (Bonus points if it’s not you). Honestly, if you manage to get 60% of your to-do list done, consider that a win. Let the other 40% rest in peace until tomorrow. Spoiler alert: It’ll still be there tomorrow.

Pro Tip: Keep your to-do list short and sweet. Don’t try to accomplish every task on the same day. Prioritize the essentials—wipe down counters, make sure everyone eats, and maybe take a moment to brush your own hair. (It’s the little things.) The rest? That’s tomorrow’s problem.

Step Four: Master the Art of Strategic Distraction

When the doorbell rings and you’re in the middle of a full-blown disaster zone, it’s time for a distraction tactic. Don’t panic. Just casually throw a book in the middle of the mess and say, “We were having a really deep discussion about historical revolutions.” The half-finished puzzle on the coffee table? “It’s an ongoing family bonding activity.” Those crayon scribbles on the wall? “Abstract expressionism.” With enough confidence, they’ll never know the difference.

Pro Tip: Have a “hideaway stash” near the front door. A laundry basket, a basket of toys, or a small box where you can quickly toss the day’s clutter to avoid looking like you’ve been hoarding mess for years. It’s like a magic trick—you’ll be the calm, collected person, even when your house feels like a tornado hit it.

Step Five: Accept That This Is Your Life Now (And It’s Actually Pretty Awesome)

The mess is a part of life. And let’s face it: someday, the house will be clean, the papers will be filed, and the walls will be free of sticky handprints. But honestly? You’ll miss it. You’ll miss the noise, the chaos, the impromptu art projects that turn the living room into a crime scene. (Well, you’ll miss it… eventually.) Embrace the madness, because in the grand scheme of things, those little moments of joy and laughter are what you’ll remember.

Pro Tip: Create “mess-free zones” where you can retreat to for a minute of peace. Maybe it’s a cozy chair in your room, or a bathroom where you lock the door for a few minutes of alone time. These moments are crucial. You’ll thank yourself later.

So go ahead—step over the laundry pile, grab that half-full coffee mug (it’s still hot-ish), and lean into the messy, beautiful chaos that is your life. In the end, you won’t remember the piles of laundry, the scattered toys, or the crayon-covered walls—but you will remember the joy, the laughter, and the memories that made it all worth it.